Tuesday, April 16, 2013


This short video is worth the watch. A simple reminder that we are all so much more than we sometimes can see.

Dove, Beauty

Monday, March 18, 2013

with today being the viewing and funeral for one of my oldest and best friends mom, i felt it only fitting that i say/share some things about Gail.

when Janelle was compiling stories and memories of Gail i had the hardest time narrowing all mine down.  i dont have any major memories but i have a ton of little memories gathered over 12 years.

little memories like building balloon arches for the new years eve stake dance, singing to music the night she bought her new toyota sequoa and drove Janelle and me all over town, calling her "Sister Evans" for years and each time she'd laugh and say call me Gail, going wedding dress shopping for Janelle, eating at Red Robin with her, Eric and Janelle, and countless other little flashbacks.

Gail was always welcoming to any and everyone.  She instantly made you feel accepted and told hilarious stories from her youth, making you feel like you had known her forever.  she was never shy about her testimony of the gospel and of the Savior.  she frequently talked about it and lived it.  she was super artistic.  i always knew Janelle got her artsy-flare from her mom.  but mostly she was kind.  she truly had a pure heart.   

back in 7th grade when Janelle's dad died i struggled for words of comfort, words of healing, and just pain words.  i always thought that was attributed to the fact that i was young.  what does someone who is 12 know of death, and comfort.  however this weekend i found myself facing the issue once again now at 24.  i quickly realized being at a loss of words has nothing to do with age.  death at any age is just plain hard.     

the only thing phrase or belief that brings any amount of comfort is that families are forever.  i'm grateful for that knowledge.  i'm grateful that i know Janelle knows families are forever.  i'm grateful that i know i will see Gail again.  i can bet Gail will be one of the first people giving out hugs to those she loves when she sees them again.  i am grateful she's no longer in pain.  as we get closer to Easter i am truly grateful for the atonement of Christ.  what a wonderful promise that we can not only live again, but live again as families.  i'm grateful to Gail and the lessons i learned from not only being friends with her wonderful daughter but from her example through the years. i truly know i will see her sweet smile again.

as i looked for ways to give my friend comfort i came across these painting by Brian Kershisnik.  i love the sentiment they bring as one realizes the other side is so close to us.  so as Janelle struggles with the loss of her mom i know she has angels surrounding her, ready to help uplift her when it gets too tough. 

i also know her sweet mother will also be helping prepare her future children for their life on this earth.


so goodbye for now Gail, 
until we meet again

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Dark Side

Today Ty's giving a whole new meaning to
the phrase dark side. If I last through today without crying or having a full blown heart attack it will be the biggest miracle.

Ty started this morning by throwing up on me and all over my side of the bed. Looks like I won't be using my pillows for a little while. He then proceeded to fall in the bath to clean off the vomit. After a mini crying sess by him, he got out and I made breakfast for us. That lasted about 3 seconds before he threw a massive, laying on the floor tantrum (because I wouldn't let him shove 5 torn pieces of toast in his mouth at once). I got a small break while he took a nap. But he then followed it by falling out of his highchair. That is correct, he figured out how tots and up and wiggle his way out of the high chair. So thanks to a fantastic tumble over the tray the highchair is now in storage and I am on the look out for a booster like thingy for our chairs. As if things possibly couldn't have gotten more crazy or stressful he proceeded to figure out how to climb into our bathtub and was doing headstands. I swear if we make it to 2 without breaking anything it'll be a miracle for his little body.

Anyone who has used the saying "boys will be boys" just has no idea what little boy I'm dealing with today. Guess I should just prepare to live less from all the mini heart attacks I feel like I'm having! Oh mom problems!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Life Lately

According to my iPhone

bowties to church
licking the beaters & the master of giving me his annoyed face
late night cuddles with dad & his preferred way to watch movies
playing with moms hair & my ideal FHE treat (white trash doughnuts and diet drp)
playing with dad
fat lip trophy from a day of exploring

Friday, March 1, 2013

Being A Better Mom

Lately I feel like the one word to sum up how I feel is Blah. There are some things that I am waiting to see how the play out and some important decisions that are awaiting a decision.

As I talked to one of my best friends about how blah I feel she told me about a quote. The quote talks about how stress is a cover for fear. And that there is no room for fear and faith, only one is present. So I started evaluating my stress or fear of the unknown. As I started to let my fear be replaced by faith I started seeing how I could be a better mom.

There's so many questions in life, so many changes and unknowns. I can't know the answer to every question. So I have to focus on what I do know. All I know right now is I love being a SAHM. It's the hardest job I have ever done. It's messy and emotionally and physically draining. However the reward far outweighs the negatives.

And this little boy is the sweetest gift Heavenly Father has given both Jake and me. And he doesn't care that my hair is sometimes (sadly mostly) greasy, that a lot of days I am still in sweats at 2 pm, that I have no makeup on or feel like I am a little lost in this motherhood thingy. He just wants to be loved and played with. So I made sure to put on Ts favorite silly Easter egg glasses and made sure to spend all afternoon wrestling on the floor with my favorite little buddy.

Winter Wonderland (2 months late)

A week ago (Thursday) we were hit with a huge storm. I honestly thought they were kidding considering how many times the news tells me a winter storm is coming and then never does. Boy was I wrong. Good thing late Wednesday we ran to the store to pick up some stuff incase it really was a bad storm like cookies, ice cream, diet dr pepper you know the necessities.

The weather man said the storm would start at 8 am and last until 12. I have never seen so much snow dump in 4 hours. It started snowing right around 8. 20 min later the visibility was at 0. So everything was canceled/closed for Thursday and Friday. Which was nice because it meant Jake got to work from home. Thursday we ventured out at 1 to see what Kansas looked like. It was perfect. Covered in snow and no one on the road. Only problem was it was the end of Feb and not December.

For my first snow fall in Kansas it was really fun. We ended up having another storm Monday. This one was intense, the wind was blowing and the snow was so thick! It surprised me because there is no room for the snow plows to push the snow anywhere. So anywhere you go there are just huge piles of snow and tiny walk ways.

Maybe I'll learn to trust the weather man a little bit more the next time he says an ice storm is coming.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Cry Baby

Yesterday I was a complete and total cry baby. I'm not even going to pretend/sugarcoat it.

When I took T for his 1 year check up they gave me labs to get his blood drawn to check iron levels and some other things they keep an eye on with whole milk. Needless to say I walked out of the doctors office with a teary eyed baby with hurt feelings (4 shots will do that him) and thought haha ya right. So I put the lab in the back of our file folder. I ignored the drs office calling and emailing me. It wasn't until I was driving home from lunch that I thought about how ridiculous I was being. I firmly believe in vaccinating T And if I can trust a random hair person to do what color they think is best along with wide range I give them since they studied hair, I better trust my amazing dr for the se thing.

See the problem was I didn't want to admit to myself how nervous I was. The last time T had his blood drawn we were having to admit him to the hospital at just 2 days past turning 1 month. And let me tell you that wasn't fun. They pricked him 5 times in both arms trying to draw blood before giving up and going through the vein in his forehead. There was blood everywhere. Total nightmare that I conveniently realized I hadn't dealt with until asked to draw blood again.

So as we walked into the Quest I thought I was being such an idiot before, yada yada. Only to find myself .5 seconds from a practical repeat. The lady although very nice had to stick him 2 times, the second time she wiggled the needle around inside trying to get blood, when she finally got it T wiggled his hand free and yanked it out, he's screaming like I've never heard, both nurses are trying to help me keep him still and then finally she replaced it and filled up the two small things and we were on a way.

Needless to say I walked out of there happy to have it over and cried for the first time (medically related ha) since he was in the hospital. I gave him anything he wanted...including letting him push the elevator buttons and walk the whole distance to the car only holding my hand 1/2 the time. (That took forever!)

If I thought shots were a breez before they're going to be a joke now for me. I truly think that was harder for me than T. He was laughing and singing and dancing the moment we walked out of the Quest, while I was fighting back tears and all angry they can't take my blood instead of his.

I'll just chalk that while experience to another first and cross my fingers, toes and any other body parts I'm not doing that again any time soon!