The Little Voice in My Head

Life has been more than a little crazy because I have been dealing with a sick baby.  About 2 months before T was born I told Jake that I thought it was really important that we get health insurance for T.  Jake looked at me like I was crazy.  I told him that I dont care what it costs and what we have to do but we need health insurance for him just in-case something were to happen. In the beginning we didnt know how it would work out but we followed through and were handed a huge blessing by Heavenly Father.  

When T was born he swallowed a bunch of amniotic fluid which lead to him having a problem with jaundice so we had to take him constantly to the hospital to have his heel pricked and his level checked along with having to have a billi bed.  So Jake and I thought that the insurance already paid off and was a good idea.  Well we had no idea how good of an idea it was until last Wednesday night. 

Having a baby in the winter months everyone always talks about RSV and how scary it is and how careful you have to be and basically put the fear of any and everything inside new parents.  So Jake and I have really only taken Ty out once and he was covered for the whole hour he was outside lol. Well apparently we either have the worst luck ever or I needed to learn a valuable lesson to follow that voice in your head because Wednesday night we found ourselves being admitted to the hospital. 

Jake and I had a cold and I noticed that T started coughing more than normal, so we took him to the doctors office on Monday and they said he just had the common cold and that it would pass.  Well Wednesday night I kept having the feeling that something wasnt right so I checked his temperature and it was over 101 so I called the after hours clinic and after about 15 minutes we were driving over to the hospital.  So I found myself on freakout mode until the Dr. came in and said we really hope its just RSV... So after a lenghty converstaion trying to explain to this freaked out mom why RSV was a good thing I learned a TON about RSV. 

What I learned...

1. RSV is just the common cold in babies

2. RSV isn't the issue its what can develop because of RSV, like meningitis or pneumonia  

3. The main thing they monitor is the oxygen level 

4. RSV usually peaks on day 4 or 5 of the sickness

So overall I learned RSV itself is not that big of a problem as long as it is monitored and watched and to always listen to that voice in my head that sometimes doesn't make sense but is always there to help me. 

 

Luckily we were released the next night and T has been doing great since.  It was incredibly hard to watch everything happen and know that I couldnt do anything to help him.  I am so grateful for modern medicine and that fact that we had insurance and Drs who were overly cautious and wanted to make sure everything was good for T 

   

Right when we got to the hospital he was still pretty happy

Little Unicorn baby...after poking him in the arm 5 times they finally used the vein in his head to place his IV.

Right when we got home from the hospital

Since he has been sick he only sleeps in the nook of my arm

We bought him little sunglasses to celebrate that he cleared all his dr tests!

Top 10

There are a couple of things that have surprised me about being a mom.
1: it's amazing how little sleep I can function on. I used to need at least 8 hours now its a good night if I get 6 and a half.
2: breast feeding has been one of the toughest things to get used to. I had to buy all new shirts, not because they were immodest but because I need things that can easily be moved around and get covered in spit up. Although in always tired from feeding him it's the best when he does his little sighs after eating.
3: learning how to change boys was a huge adjustment. I'm still learning how to dodge out of the way when he randomly starts peeing during a diaper change.
4: I love that Ty instantly falls asleep in put on our bed. I think he enjoys the memory foam as much as I do.
5: it has taken some time but I love that I finally am understanding what his little cries or grunts mean.
6: it's amazing the sweet spirit that has filled my life and home since he has arrived in our family. I don't know how anyone could not love a little baby. It has made me look at my life and find the joy in the plan. It's nearly impossible to not feel grateful for a loving Heavenly Father and Savior who know exactly what I need in my life and patiently wait for me to ask.
7: I love that Jake helps me out with everything that he can. I love seeing him cuddle with Ty. It makes me appreciate that I married who I married. I married someone who always puts Ty and me first. It's the biggest blessing I have in my life to be married to someone who makes me happier each day.
8: I love watching my family with Ty. Family is the whole purpose of this life and my heart breaks for those babies who don't grow up with half as much love as Ty has.
9: I love how stubborn Ty is already. He loves putting his head all the way to the side. We bought a pillow to go in his carseat so that his head will not flip to the side and he screamed and screamed until we took it off and he laid his head how he wanted too.
10: I love how many new and exciting things are in store. Everyday is an adventure when you have a little baby who is discovering the world. He is by far the best thing I have done.

Welcome to mommy hood

Today I was officially welcomed to the world of mommy hood... You might think that this little guy is ridiculously cute but he secretly has a little evil side. Today he pooped, peed and threw up down my shirt. Ya for multiple showers and the dirty side of mommy hood

Ty's Birth Story

So life is a little crazy with a newborn, even though I feel like I hit the jackpot and this baby is false advertising because he is so easy.  Since I was overdue a week, there is a lot to this story... don't worry there isn't any gross details or pictures. 

There are probably 4 things that stand out to me as being the highlights of the entire process.  The first is right when my parents showed up and told us what my little sister Gabby said when she found out I was in labor.
Mom: Rachel is in labor, they admitted her to the hospital
Gabby: Yes! I knew it, my prayers were answered! Let me get dressed really quick so we can see the baby.

Mom: Well its going to take some time, she isn't ready yet
Gabby: Well I prayed for him to come tonight, but I guess I can live with around lunchtime.
I seriously love my little sister, she is so stinking funny sometimes.

2: While I was in labor, getting close to the end Mackenzie gets a frantic call from Jake who is stuck in the elevator.  No joke.  Of course it would happen to me, I get close to being done with the whole process and Jake is stuck in the elevator.  After 30 min and major help from my dad, he was freed! Luckily it gave me and all the nurses a good laugh.

3: Ty had his head faced the wrong way and was so incredubly stubborn that the entire time I was pushing the Dr. had to have his hand inside physically keeping his head turned the right way.  That was the moment I realized how in trouble I really am with this child.

4: I had always heard that everyone thinks that the hospital food is amazing right after they give birth and then the realize how awful it really is later.  Well this is a completely true fact.  After having Ty I ordered lunch and the entire time I ate it I told Jake that it was the most amazing pizza I had every tasted.  In true me fashion it didnt matter all that much because I proceeded to throw the entire meal up.  Like labor wasn't bad enough I was now also sick.  Then the next morning I ordered breakfast anticipating a meal that was equally as good as lunch only to take a bite and tell Jake that this food sucks.  He proceeds to tell me that lunch was as bad yesterday I just couldn't tell.  All in all, it was a wonderful experience and I am so glad to have little T here outside my belly than inside. 

One of the hardest parts about being pregnant was having 4 different due dates. We started out at the 30th, then moved to the 27th, then to the 21st and finally the 16th. Why did we keep moving up?  Because T was growing so fast and big.  Now I am grateful that they officially moved my due date to the 16th because it meant that I would have T before December was over but the downfall of moving your due date is that you get it in your head that come that d-day you should definitely no longer be prego.  That is what I did.  I was convinced that I would not go past the 16th because that was my due date (never mind the fact that it was originally and really around the 27th). After I finshed school the 9th I did everything in my power to get this baby here on my own.  I literally became a crazy, psycho prego lady.  I did jumping jacks, and danced on the wii, I hate the hottest hot sauce I could find, bounced on those exercise balls and did a weird trick where you sit on coffee... Nothing worked.  Each day passed and I was still prego and still having absolutely zero contractions, I wasn't even having the fake ones.  As time went on I became more crazy as I thought I might have to be prego forever.  Now the hard part is that I knew all the stuff about babies coming when they are ready, and yada yada.  However I hit that point at the end where I was completely sick of being prego and just wanted to meet my little T already.     

I went to my Dr. appointment on my actual due date with the dream that my water my randomly break while there (so convenient) and the anticipation that it really didnt matter what happened because my doctor said she would induce on the 23rd... then my Dr. dropped a bomb and said I had made basically no changes from last week and she wouldn't induce till the 27th now.  Worst thing you could ever tell a prego lady is that she has to stay prego for almost another week.  I literally cried the entire way home and none of my old tricks of powered donuts or 99 cent cheeseburgers from McDonalds would help. So after buying a large diet coke and crying to Jake I became even more super crazy (if that is possible).  I was determined that by the time I went to see my Dr on the 20th that I would be in labor.  So I doubled all my previous activities and added walking at least 30 min every morning.  I even tried bribing the nurse at the hospital during my non-stress stress on the 18th to see if she would admit me and induce me.  Apparently thats illegal... but I was an overdue, crazy prego lady who just wanted to meet her little baby.  I then was naive enough to think that when I went back to my Dr. on the 20th that she would say that last week was just a joke and she was inducing me asap.  Unfortunately she let me know there was still no change from Friday and that she wished there would have been because she would have induced us tomorrow. This caused another meltdown as she repeated the worse words to say to a prego lady. 

I decided that I was tired of acting like a crazy person and so after spending the day with my family, I asked Jake for a blessing.  I knew that I wanted to enjoy the time I had with my family instead of trying every old tale about inducing labor.  What I wasn't expecting was the blessing that I received.  It brought a ton of comfort as two things stood out.  The first was that I was overdue for my own benefit.  That this was a trial that I needed to learn that not everything goes the way I plan it, or happens at the time I plan it... So I learned my lesson quickly, stop being a control freak.  The second thing was that I was told that Ty was surrounded by family and was receiving needed instruction and that when he was finished being taught what he needed to help him succeed in this life that he would come.  So needless to say it was a little hard for me to be frustrated that he wasnt here yet.  It is hard to argue or be angry when you are told something as wonderful as that.  It also made me realize that babies really do come when they are ready.  So I decided to enjoy the time with my family and wait till T was ready.

Well like I said earlier I didnt have a single contraction till the night I went to the hospital. Dec 22, while drinking hot coco with my family, looking at the lights at "This Is The Place" park in salt lake I started having my first contractions.  I didnt say anything to Jake until we were on our way home and they were coming every 10 min.  Jake and I ended up going to the hospital around 12:30, after an hour of waiting (worst hour ever) they finally admitted me and gave me an epidural.  I seriously dont know how women do it with out the epidural... props to you, I definitely needed the drugs.  While I was getting the epidural Jake called both of our parents to tell them that I was admitted.  My parents and sister ended up showing up around 4 am.  Which was amazing.  Orginally I thought that I wanted it to be just Jake and me, but that would have been the longest labor of my life if my family wouldn't have shown up.  I realized that when I am in serious pain or discomfort I do no talk.  I want to just listen to other people talk but I dont want to say a word.  Therefore it was great that my family showed up so that Jake had people to talk to him and rescue him from the elevator.  It was so nice to listen to everyone tell stories and joke while helped distract me and take up the time.  At noon I was ready to start pushing and at 12:37 little Ty was born.  I give props to my sister Gabby who called the time.

Although being overdue was awful, everything seemed to disappear as soon as Ty was here and I was holding him.  From day one he has never really cried.  I dont know how we got so lucky but there is nothing as sweet as holding an innocent little child.  I think the thing that hit me the most was I instantly understood how my parents feel about me.  Its impossible to hold your own child and not know how your parents feel about you.  Its one of the many blessings that comes from having a little baby.   

  

It's Official

I have become a crazy pregnant lady who dances on the x-box kinect and bounces on an excerise ball all day.  I went to my doctor yesterday and got the unfortunate news that baby is not coming anytime soon, so now my life consists of dancing and bouncing on a ball.  I might try some old wives tales tonight to induce labor but who knows, I guess this is just another chance for me to learn that I am no longer in control and that he will come when he is ready. Oh well for now I will just wait and continue to bounce on my ball and wait for the green light.  Hope your Christmas break is going great!

The Little Things

This week I am particularly grateful for a couple of things....

 1. That I am officially considered this! Going to school at BYU has had its challenges but the pros of going to this school have FAR outweighed the cons.  I feel extremely blessed to have parents tell me they would only pay for me to attend school here.  Although BYU isn't for everyone it's exactly what I needed in my life.  I will forever be grateful to parents who helped jump-start me on a path to a successful life.  One where religion and school go hand-in-hand.

 2. These lovely things

I know what you are thinking, I am a total freak to be grateful for these.  However my two things go hand in hand.  This week my morning sickness has decided to strike back with full force and I have spent every single day throwing up.  I tried leaving the house yesterday only to find myself throwing up in the Taco Bell parking lot...sorry to anyone who saw.  Therefore I am extremely glad that I am done with school so that I can run down the hall/ live in the bathroom until my body decides to stop getting sick or this baby comes.  I personally am hoping for the later.  Anyways I am greateful that I can be sick in the comfort of my own home and I am not a pioneer who has to dig a hole or visit an outhouse. 

So today I am choosing to see the joy in the little things, because it helps me from going insane wondering when this baby will decide to show his face.  Good news is that he has a week to decide if he wants to come on his own before they force him so let the official countdown begin!

The True Meaning of Christmas

I have been wanting to write this post for awhile but I didn't really have the time with student teaching and I honestly didn't know how to bring it up.  However last Thursday I stayed up till 11 (a lot later than my 9pm time that has ruled my pregnancy) but I could not put this book down. 

Literally I bawled throughout the entire book.  Now I'm choosing to chalk this up to the fact that this short story is amazing and filled me with the spirit as opposed to the fact that I am pregnant and literally tear up at everything most things.  But this book presents a sweet reminder of the true meaning of Christmas and what matters most.

Although most people know that the true meaning of Christmas is in the name, Christ.  However this story presents something about Christmas that I hadn't ever thought about.  The first thing that the angel says to the shepards is found in Luke chapter 2, verses 10-14.

10 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you ^agood tidings of great ^bjoy, which shall be to all people.

11 For unto you is ^aborn this day in the city of David a ^bSaviour, which is Christ the ^cLord.

12 And this shall be a ^asign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

14 ^aGlory to God in the highest, and on earth ^bpeace, good will toward men.

Verse 10 holds the key...fear not.  What a simple yet profound phrase.  Because Christ was born each of us has nothing to fear.  I have nothing to fear because I know that he knows and loves me.  I am never alone, he is always looking out for me and will never leave me.  As long as I remember this I truly do have nothing to fear, none of us do.  When this thought hit me I was filled with a immense sense of peace and joy.  How can you know this and not be happy or full of peace?

This book helped solidify my appreciation for Mary and Joseph and all the challenges they faced bringing the Savior into this world.  It also helped ground me to what matters most this season, my relationship with my Savior and giving to those around me.  It also brought me peace on a topic that has continually come up and is at the forefront of my mind these days.    

Throughout this pregnancy the topic of having a baby so close to Christmas has constantly come up. In the beginning my due date was Dec. 29th so people would ask me if I was worried I would go into labor early and have his birthday on Christmas.  Then once we found out that the latest I would go is Dec. 23rd the questions changed to if I was worried about him not feeling special enough with his birthday so close to Christmas, and if I was worried about there not being enough difference between his birthday gifts and Christmas gifts.

From the beginning Jake and I have not been worried at all about this issue. We have  had a lot of talks about how magical we think it is to have a birthday in the month of December.  We both have a strong belief that you make a birthday special but that a birthday doesn't make you king/queen for a day or mean that the world centers around you.  Sometimes that means celebrating it on a different day or receiving gifts that count for both birthdays and Christmas.  Growing up in the church you realize that the world doesn't celebrate Christ's birthday on its actual day.  We choose to celebrate with the world at Christmas even through we know it is likely sometime in April.  I guess I don't feel too bad if we happen to celebrate his birthday on a different day and plan to remind him about Christ if it is a issue for him.    

We also grew up going to school on our birthday, working on our birthday and doing everyday things that go with growing up and everyday life and plan to raise our children with the same understanding and expectation.  With Jake having a birthday Nov. 29th, he frequently got larger gifts that counted for both his birthday and Christmas.  My birthday is 2 days after Valentines day so the older I got the more I also got large gifts that counted for both my birthday and Christmas.  So both of us have the understanding that it is ok to give large gifts that count for both Christmas and Birthdays.

This is just how Jake and I feel about birthdays.  I understand and know people who feel completely opposite, but for me this is why I am more excited about his birthday being close to Christmas than I am worried.  This book helped me find comfort in my belief about having a birthday close to Christmas.  There is nothing better than sharing the celebration of your birthday with the one person who will never let anyone down.  Having a birthday close to Christmas keeps the emphasis on what matters most in life Christ, being charitable and being surrounded by family.  Maybe I should strive to have all my kids birthdays close to Christmas...for now that is way to far out in the future I just want my first baby here before I think about another one.

I think everyone should read this book and think about the true meaning of Christmas, their relationship with Christ.