No Excuses

Basically today felt like Christmas morning at the Dallin casa. T spent quality time with his Grandma while Jake and I did a session at the temple (last time we did this was December 2010 when we found out we needed to have a baby) needless to say it ha been awhile. Then on the way back we got the lovely email from REI that our jogger was here! Thank you Dad for your endless and always present giftcards to that store and their Memorial day sale! Because of you we made off with our dream jogger at a steal! During our test walk tonight it was flawless and a new staple in our lives. Alarms are set for our 6 am run as a family. Who are we?

Oh ya people who are sick of not fitting in their clothes, hello weight loss and probable race in July. Maybe by then we will be back to the weight we were when we got married! (fingers crossed)

When Ty's Asleep

When Ty is asleep I usually take a quick minute to make the rounds on all my favorite sites.  Last week as I was making the rounds I came across this post on Sydney's  blog and instead of reading it I brushed it off and forgot all about it until tonight when it came up again on another site. I decided to follow the link and instantly was in tears.  I quickly said a prayer of gratitude for my loving husband and wonderful marriage (so glad I waited for the right person) and my sweet, healthy, beautiful baby sleeping right next to me. I instantly knew that my life wasn't so hard and that the Lord had handed me a sweet tender mercy in watching someone who struggles with the ultimate challenge and yet still finds the joy and beauty in the world.  

Check it out. Shed a couple of tears. Give your loved ones a hug and a kiss because ultimately they are the only thing that matter

http://www.goteamjason.com/

Life At Home...Through My IPhone

These are just some of my favorite pictures from my originally planned 1 week turned into 3 weeks at home!

Why yes I am 23 and my Mom did pick out my "butter" yellow pants, stripped t, and sparkly sperrys

Yes I do color coordinate my clothes when I am home 

Yes that is Tys crib in the closet, hello Harry Potter

And yes I did spend most of my time outdoors holding T and letting him learn to sip through the straw in his alien cup. 

Ty also decided since he is now 5 months he is old enough to hold his own bottle. Dont even think about trying to hold it, he grunts and pushes your hands away

Gotta love teething...he shoves any and everything in his mouth (especially Sophie) 

Sometimes we go out and Brenna gets mistaken as a teen mom, its all good. 

Once again my baby is false advertisement, he will gladly eat spinach and mango and any other food if I mix it with bananas. 

   

I spent days and days and days working on a new King size quilt for Jake and me for our new bed. (Do we have a new bed? Nope but we will be getting a king one by Christmas so I'm being planning for the future...we are so not cuddlers when we sleep). Its beautiful and I Love it! 

I loved being home! Cant wait to be with my family again for the 4th and then back in Hemet in Aug! 

Reality

Yesterday we officially made it back to Utah.

Needless to say I was having the hardest time holding back my tears as we drove away from my parents house.  I have always loved my family and loved spending time with them but have never been one who gets really homesick, which came in handy when I started school up here.  But there is something in me that has completely switched and I crave my family all the time. It started around the time that little guy popped into our lives.  At the time I chalked it up to those crazy hormones and thought it would return to normal. As is usual in my life I was wrong. I miss my family like crazy all the time now. I like being able to quickly ask my mom any new mom question I have. I also like that when I am with them I can escape the reality I am in. That I am struggling right now with our situation in life.

I know that I should be so incredibly grateful for everything I have...and I truly, really am. But I don't know how much more of this trial I can take. The hardest thing is having the peace and comfort the spirit brings as it tells you there is a job while your head and everywhere you look is saying there isn't a job. I am a full fledge, 100% committed believer that everything happens for a reason.  I know that we are going through this little trial for a reason.  I know that I am blessed to be surrounded by wonderful family and friends who know and can completely relate to what we are going through...but it doesn't change the situation. When I say it (or write it out) I realize how ungrateful I sound but somedays my head wins out and tells me I'm an idiot and our situation sucks and blah blah blah, until I end up consoling myself with some Real Housewives of New Jersey or Gypsy Wedding and cuddle with my sweet little boy.

I know it will all work out. In a month, year or even in the next life we can look at this situation and laugh.  I know that we will be able to truly tell someone going through it that we understand.  I know that there is a specific path we need to take as a family.  I am grateful the burden of supporting a family does not fall on me. I am grateful for all Jake does.  But for tonight, I am going to give in to my head. I am going to get frustrated, shed a couple of tears, watch reality TV and hope that in the morning I have found the confidence and faith I need to keep pushing through until my next breakdown.

So heres to hoping that the Lord shows us our way this week, and learning to completely master the torrential downpour of fear and uncertainly.  

Wowza

I can't believe sweet little Ty is 5 months old today! It's crazy how fast time has flown and how much my life has changed. I love every minute. Even the sleepless nights like last night where he woke up screaming every 2-3 hours, only to be consoled by Micky Mouse Clubhouse.

In a lovely celebration of Ty being 5 months (or the sale they were having) we went to Macy's today. I love dressing Ty but seriously there are 5 million billion cute girl things for 1 boy thing. Maybe Heavenly Father knew I'd blow all our money on clothes so he sent us a boy first...

Regardless of my future children and their birth order we got Ty and Gabby some cute things. After my mom had paid she quickly went to the bathroom while I waited for the girl to bag everything up. She started asking questions about Ty and how old he was and then as she's putting Gabbys dress in the bag she looks at me and says"oh do you have another older daughter?" I laughed and said no that the dress was for my sister. The lady then gives me a questioning look like I'm lying and says "so wait he's your first?" Yes he's my first. I know I didn't get that much sleep last night but do I really look that bad? Or are you shocked I wasn't a teen mom? Both of your questions sucked and I never want to play a game of 20 questions with you because probably when it was done I'd do something I'd regret and end up in prison for a good couple of years. Thanks for the self esteem booster today! I think I'll quickly take my sons clothes and go shop in the teen section to make myself feel better.

Lessons Learned

Today is our anniversary. Since we are in different states right now I relented from Ty's sleep training schedule and made him sleep in the bed with me. I didn't want to wake up alone and I figured the next best thing to Jake was his mini me T. I can't believe it's been 2 years since we were married. Being sealed was the best decision I have ever made and I am grateful everyday I listened to the spirit and made the right choice.

Even though I feel like we have a really great marriage it is still full of ups and downs like all marriages. These are just of couple of things that I look back on year 2 of marriage with fondness.

Living in Ca for the summer

Football games every week while prego ... Never again. It might have been fun if we actually could win against a creditable team and I could stand up to cheer without worrying about whether or not I should have worn depends to the game just in case.

Graduating from college completely debt free thanks to our parents and grandparents.

3 separate hospital trips in a month. Only one of those was planned and enjoyable (one they gave me the juice in the back of my spine)

First Christmas with a baby. Yes I did actually buy Ty presents and make him open them as Jake took pictures/recorded.

Welcoming a new baby into our family. One of the most special and life changing events ever.

Fights about whether or not to eat at in n out...pregnancy cravings are intense. Some can be lived without others will make you break down till you have them.(like shove your face with 2 boxes of donuts bought at Chevron)

Stretchy pants (amazing). I still think of ways I could get away with wearing them.

Jake getting stuck in an elevator while I'm in labor getting ready to start pushing. I laughed as it was happening (thank you drugs) and now when I look back on it. I still am wondering why he got the gift basket, I was also affected and about to pushing a baby out of me.

Finally catching a glimpse of how my parents and Heavenly Father felt about me.

Being angry that Jake didn't have boobs. Seriously though. I was the one who had to get fat, uncomfortable, push that baby out of a rather small hole and then be the sole feeder. Something seems a little off about this.

Last but not least job searching. It's a mixture between excitement, frustration, patience, and faith. It's exciting to know that we can go anywhere (really were not looking at a single job in Utah). Overall I'm grateful that I have Jake to help make decisions and that ultimately we are not the ones in charge. I'll leave that up to God and listen to where he tells us to go.

I'm excited to see what year 3 brings us!!! Love you Jake! Thanks for an amazing year, so grateful we really are partners and equals in our marriage!

Happy Birthday!

Today is my youngest sister Gabby's birthday. A very Happy 11th Birthday to you Gab!

It seems weird that she is already 11 years old. Since I was 12 when she was born I truly remember it all.  She was born the day after I got my braces off.  Back then I was looking good in my jean skort, fake plastic press on nails, big bangs and no boobs.  I look back on those pictures with fondness and hope that my children never see them.

When she was born we shared a room for a couple of months while we waited to move into our new house. I have watched her grow up and honestly can say that watching my mom raise her and helping out with a new sister has made ALL the difference with having my own.  When I found out I was pregnant I thought it was going to be a little weird that my baby and Gabby were going to be closer in age than she and I were.  But I was grateful that he will always have a young/cool aunt to ask questions when I become too old and weird as all parents do.  I can't imagine Gabby not being a part of our family. She has and continues to say some of the funniest things ever.  She has a huge personality and the biggest hart ever. It has been a joy to watch her grow up and I can't wait for the first time she introduces us to a boy, has a baby, and calls with a drama story.  Since she is turning 11 I figured I'd share my top 11 favorite Gabby stories.


1: Gabby is sitting in between my parents 2 sinks in their bathroom as they are getting ready for work.  She looks at my mom, then my dad, then back at my mom and back at my dad... before finally turning her head to look at my dad and ask "Why'd you even marry her anyways?" as she points to my mom.

2: After Gabby had asked for the millionth time where she had to wear skirts and dresses to church and boys got to wear pants, my mom finally said "I don't know Gabby, why don't you ask Heavenly Father?" Not even 5 minutes later my mom hears her playing with her dolls and saying, "Heavenly Father why do girls have to wear skirts to church?" Her other doll responds by saying "I don't know why don't you ask Shauna.... I sent you to live with her didn't I?" 

3: It was my first morning home in October and my baby shower was later that day...after Gabby gives me a hug and says good morning she goes, "You know I wish Jake was here instead of you. I have like lived you with my whole life and see you all the time, I never get to see him." (Well thank you, good to see you too) 

4: I am at Walmart with my Dad, Mackenzie and Gabby and Kenz kept asking and asking and asking for every stupid thing she saw (being funny) and my dad kept saying "No, we are here to get 2 things and then leave, stop wasting my time" Kenz decides the last thing she is going to ask for is a pet fish to which my dad of course says no. Gabby then says "Dad can I have a fish?" What does my dad say?... "Sure! Do you want 1 or 2?" We then left with store with 2 fish and a new beach towel for Gabby.  

 5: In Utah for Thanksgiving I pick up Gab in my car and follow my mom to our cabin when she tells me this hilarious story about my mom and Brenna. As I am laughing she tells me "Its not funny I really thought Brenna was going to kill us and Mom was going to punch her!"

 6: Telling my over the phone, "Don't worry about coming down just send Ty, we only care about seeing him"

 7: Going shooting for the first time. Brenna is afraid to shoot and fires once before stopping because it hurt. Gabby walks up to her and goes, "Here let me have it" and proceeds to clean a clip.

8: Watching Gabby hold Ty for the first time. It was crazy to think that 12 years earlier I was doing the same thing only holding her. Now my littlest sister was holding my little baby.

  9: Gabby is about 2 and my Dad is holding her in his arms... when he proceeds to freak out and yell "Wheres Gabby?! We have to find her quick!" hahaha that was funny to watch him realize she was in his arms.

10: Trying to figure out what to eat for dinner and my dad isnt answering his phone, so my mom says "Someone text him so we can figure out where he is" Gabby responds "I'll text him! Oh wait I don't have a phone because you won't get me one."

11: While she was sleeping my parents put her new cell phone under her pillow and called her to wake her up this morning.  After moving around trying to figure out where the sound is coming from she proceeds to find the phone and starts screaming and saying thank-you to my parents.

Love you Gab! Hope you have a wonderful Birthday! I am so excited that Ty and I get to be here and share it with you! Hope you have a wonderful day!