Death by Caffeine

This week anytime you see me I will without a doubt have the largest possible diet coke from a variety of cheap and wonderful fast food drive throughs.

Thanks to sleep training, rolling over and then getting mad hes on his stomach and teething I am dying! Lucky for me the guy at Carls Jr is starting to recognize me. I feel it is very important to have those guys on your side when they hold the key to you being able to function. Too bad my friend is from the one in Hemet. I'm hoping he figures out quickly that he already knows how to roll from his stomach to his back, his stupid teeth come in and that by the end of next week he's on the schedule I want. But until that happens ill just keep drinking dc and thanking the Carls guy for not judging mr

Mothers Day

I always knew I wanted to be a mom. While certain kids grew up wanting to be doctors, firefighters, or other typical childhood dreams it was always a toss up for me between being a drive through worker at Mcdonalds and a mama.

I grew up and realized that I should aspire to do more with my life than take people's orders at McDonald's so I held fast to my other dream: motherhood.

It is everything and more than I could have ever imagined! I feel blessed to have sweet little T call me mama. I feel blessed to know other little chunky babies will follow and also call me mama. (Hopefully not too soon!!!) I feel blessed to have in my opinion the perfect example of how to be a mama. My mother was exactly who I needed. I hope to be half the mom she is, when all is said and done. I also feel incredible blessed to have the help and support and love from Jake. The reason I'm not a psycho mama is because I have a true partner.

Happy Mothers day to all you mamas with little ones, future mamas, an mamas with ones already grown! What an amazing holiday mothers day is. An entire day devoted to the one thing in this life that can completely change you for the better and bring you closer to God then anything else...families and motherhood. Hope yours was as great as mine was!!!

Milk wagon

If Ty starts screaming all the sudden it's because he's decided he's hungry and wants food now. Jake has jokingly told him "hang on the milk wagon is coming". Some days that really is what I feel like. My sole purpose is to be a feeding truck.

Before Ty was born I knew I was going to breastfeed. My intentions were 1: it would help me lose weight, 2: it was free and we definitely needed to save the money, and 3: I knew it would be easy since we were already equipped with everything we need. I wish I could tell you that my intentions were in a different order but sadly nope. When you gain 40 pounds getting that off ASAP is a main focus.

Except for the first week, it has been easy and I have loved breastfeeding. But Ty has seriously been eating every 3 hours... Like a newborn! It got exhausting to just feed all day. Therefore I decided to start him on solids. Thanks to my lovely byu doctor who answered my question as to when to start solids by saying "ask your relief society president". Why am I even paying you for your opinion if that's who I should bring my new mom questions to.

I have since just gone on my mommy instinct and cut hours at the milk wagon shop and use baby food. It's been an experience. I tried tricking him into eating green beans...no go. Thankfully I might add cuz the sight of them made me sick. So we're sticking to yummy fruit and the orange veggies! A special thanks to my mom for my high chair which I love, and my moms friends who got me a baby food maker as a gift which I also love. And most importantly a big thank you to Ty for actually eating and enjoying baby food so I have more to look forward to during the day besides being your milk wagon

Lost Time

Since I was so incredibly sick last summer and Jake and I were busy working we never got the chance to do a Dodger game. Since they are the favorite baseball team of almost everyone in my family and Jake it was considered a must do. So we went to the 2nd game between the Giants and the Dodgers. Brenna was too busy studying for her ap test tomorrow, so t ended up being Jake, Gabby, Gabbys friend and fellow Dodger lover Brandon and me.

We did ALL the classic things like complete tourists and not like people who live and hour and a half away. But this included dodger dogs, foam fingers, shirts and of course ice cream in a Dodger batting hat. It was such a fun game (even though we lost)! I told Gab she better get used to her teams losing considering the fact she's a Radier, Dodger and BYU fan. Triple threat of teams that disappoint you. But our seats were amazing and I can't wait till T is big enough to go!

To make this trip even better I get to see one of my oldest and best friends who just got home from her mission! Whenever I think about Leilani countless memories from high school and college come to mind. Like racing to make it on time to seminary, stains on all clothes, swearing while driving l and pretending we are hardcore by listening to edited rap. I can't wait to see her and have Ty meet her!! I'm so proud of all her hard work on a mission!

This vacation just keeps getting better and better... I might not ever want to leave which is a shocker considering its Hemet.

Being Home Means...

My amazing week at home has consisted of...

- loads of loving hands to drop one chunky baby into
- sunburned skin in attempt to get rid of my Utah whiteness
- lunch dates to all my favorite places... Thank you chicken burrito bowl and chicken jerusalem
- participating in all my guilty pleasures with someone other than Ty. I can testify that to fully enjoy My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding you need to watch it with a group of people. Also it is more enjoyable if that group doesn't make fun of the show the whole time or tell awful Gypsy stories from their mission to Paris.
- helping on state projects. Gabby is lucky to have 3 experts on the state of Utah as opposed to the usual 1
- Mickey mouse clubhouse
- wrestling matches between my 26 year old husband and 10 year old sister
- impromptu dance recitals in/on the pool
- T has been enjoying slumber parties with grandma
- new baby food and getting grossed out at all the green ones... I know I'm a lightweight
- dc all day every day

This trip has been so fun. I love spending time with my family and building important memories with them. I can't wait for our next big vacation together! But for now I'll enjoy the Dodger game were going to for Gabbys bday!

Breathing Room

Since we "took a break"/ ran away from our problem life has been amazing! We decided that we would take a break and go to Saint George for a week then Hemet for a week. We decided that since Jake can do the job search from anywhere we needed to take a break and regroup. It's been a rough couple of months and we felt it was best to be surrounded by family and to take on this next battle fully charged. So this week we have been doing just that, recharging our batteries and using this new found room to breathe. It's amazing how the second we got into the car and started our trip a weight was lifted off of our shoulders. Since then we have had countless prayers answered and clarity on the path that is best for our little family. So well keep pushing on, relaxing, and learning how to breathe again. And sure enough sooner than later we will realize what the Lord has in store for us. Let's hope tomorrows drive to Ca goes smoothly!!

Here's just a couple of pics of our trip. T with his great grandma Renee, just some of our many bags, Ty just been a sweet baby waiting at jiffy lube.

From Your Momma

Some of my favorite things happen early in the morning. When Ty and I get up and the house is real quiet. We lay down on the couch facing each other and share the giant silky blanket my grandma made for me when I was little. As we lay there I wish to tell him so much. Though he can't yet understand me I know if I write it down he can read it later.

Dear Sweet T,

I love talking to you. I can't yet understand what your babble means but I wish I could. I know you are full of stories from this side of the veil as well as the other. I know you could remind me of my life there before and what I have to look forward to when I die. I wish you could understand how much you are loved. It hasn't always been easy but it's never not been worth it. Sweet little T you have already felt with the sadness and sorrow of this world. You have dealt sickness and people not being happy for you or that you are now here. And unfortunately my sweet baby boy that doesn't change. Throughout this life you will always face cruel people, lost people, saddest and sorrow. But do not forget you will also face joy and utter happiness. Learn to be happy for everyone you come into contact with because that is what the Savior would want you to do and ultimately acting as he would will bring you the most joy. Learn that it is ok to admit you are wrong. Pride and a complete disregard of humility will make you lonely. Few people will truly care about someone who is prideful and unable to be humble. Remember that everything is given to you by your Heavenly Father. He knows you better than you ever will know yourself. Trust in his way and you will always be successful and happy. Learn quickly that you are a beloved child of God. The power that comes from that knowledge can bring peace to your soul and light the way in darkness. Ty always know how much you were loved by your grandparents and parents. Your dad and I desperately wanted you here. We didn't know why we needed to have you so soon but it took holding you once to realize the answer. You fill this hole we didn't know we had. You make your momma strive to be a better person. Everyday I am getting better and that is because of you. Thank you for coming to our family and rocking my world. You have changed me so completely it's hard to believe you're just 4 months old. I can't wait for the many years to come on this earth and for the endless eternity in the next. I love you Ty. Thanks for the raspberries, hugs, and attempted kisses...they mean more than you will know or understand. Until you have your own little baby. Then it will all make perfect sense.

Love, your momma